Kine: Welcome to Alveskog – Voices of the Soul. A podcast about life, growth, connection, and the journey back to yourself.

Today I’ll be having a conversation with Paal Alveskog, who has had a somewhat different upbringing than most. We’re going to talk a bit about Jehovah’s Witnesses and his experience with it.

So, I want to welcome Paal.

Paal: Thank you.

Kine: Paal, you’ve had a bit of a different childhood than most. Can you tell us a little about your upbringing with Jehovah’s Witnesses and when it started?

Paal: Well, I was born into it, so it was something that was with me right from the beginning, and it sort of became the natural way of life for me – really, the only thing I knew. So in a way, I can’t say I felt it was strange at first. I don’t actually remember much from the very beginning. My first clear memories of it are from around the time I started school, and that’s when it became a challenge.

Kine: Right. So your first memories are really from school age – you don’t remember much before that?

Paal: No, nothing that really stands out.

Kine: Can you tell us a little about what it was like to be a Jehovah’s Witness child?

Paal: Yeah, I’d have to start from school age. My first memory is having to hand a pamplet to my teacher – I believe it was called Children of Jehovah’s Witnesses. And I remember how ashamed I felt having to give it to her. That’s when I sensed that something wasn’t right, that this wasn’t for me. I was six, turning seven that year, so I realized early on that this didn’t fit me.

Kine: Yes. Most people today are at least somewhat familiar with Jehovah’s Witnesses, or have heard of them. But can you go a little deeper into what it was for you – where it started, and maybe what you had to do?

Paal: There was a lot. It’s a big religion, worldwide, with many millions of members. In Norway, they have Kingdom Halls in nearly every city and town, and in the bigger cities there are several. There are thousands of members in Norway. In Steinkjer, where I grew up, I think there were maybe a little over a hundred people, roughly, as I remember.

What made it special was the amount of worship – there were lots of meetings, several times a week, maybe three or four. And we had to attend all of them. It added up to hours and hours every week, plus study outside of that to prepare for the meetings.

We weren’t allowed to celebrate birthdays, or take part in organized sports, no Christmas celebrations, many things like that – all of which excluded us from what was “normal” for other children.

Kine: Yes, exactly. I think most people today know Jehovah’s Witnesses mainly from them handing out pamplets, as you said, and knocking on doors. Was that something you also had to take part in as a child?

Paal: Yes, that was pretty much every Saturday, I think.

Kine: And how was that?

Paal: Embarrassing.

Kine: Embarrassing...

Paal: There was this constant anxiety – I didn’t want to run into anyone I know, or anyone from school, because… You know…

Kine: So, not very easy as a child, was it?

Paal: No, it wasn’t.

Kine: Is there anything else you remember as being especially difficult for you?

Paal: The first thing that comes to mind is not being able to take part in what the rest of the class did. That wasn’t cool. I was exempted from religion classes at school, so I’d just walk around the schoolyard kicking pebbles. That sort of thing… yeah.

Kine: Now, in 2018, you were featured in the local newspaper.

Paal: Yes.

Kine: From what I read in that article, you came across as somewhat combative, we could say, toward Jehovah’s Witnesses. Can you tell us a little about that?

Paal: Yeah, it’s a long story. I left when I was about 15, maybe 16 – I think 15. And immediately I went into a combative role against religion. I was drawn to black metal, to anti-Christian messages, and I lived that way all the way until 2018, 2019.

Then in 2018, after going through a very traumatic experience, I found myself back on the warpath, so to speak. I was trying to find myself again, and that combative energy returned. It was a way of explaining what had happened to me.

Kine: Yes, and I know this well. I know that at age 12, you came home for the first time and actually wanted to leave Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Paal: Yes, that was the first time I said something directly.

Kine: What happened then?

Paal: Well… something had happened at school – I don’t remember exactly what – but I ended up in the principal’s office or the inspector’s office, something like that. And on the wall there was a poster about children’s rights. I stood there reading it, and it said that at 12 years old, children have religious freedom. So I ran home after school and told my parents that I had seen this, and I said, “Now I’m not going to be part of this anymore, I don’t want this.” But I was told I was too young to understand the consequences, and just had to continue.

Kine: Yes, exactly.

When we talk about what you went public with in 2018, can you give some more details – did you share your whole story, or was it more of a warning?

Paal: In that newspaper article? It was an interview covering many things, and religion was the thread they chose to highlight. Which was fine. But much of it was actually about my training – what I used to rebuild myself after what happened at the end of 2017, both mentally and physically. But then the religion part also came into it, and they drew a parallel between what I had gone through and how I was now rising again.

Kine: Yes, I understand. I also know you’ve struggled after all of this, but at the same time you’ve worked hard on yourself. The reason we wanted to bring this up today isn’t so much about warning people, but more about the way forward.

What do you do after being in such a situation, in that kind of religious group? For some, it works out fine, and they stay in Jehovah’s Witnesses all their lives. I know you’ve had to work a lot with this, to handle it. Maybe you can tell us a bit about that?

Paal: Where do I begin…?

Kine: Maybe you can talk about who it was that first brought your family into Jehovah’s Witnesses?

Paal: From what I know, it was my father. He joined because it saved him after coming out of alcoholism. He found something bigger than himself, something that became his salvation. He gave himself fully to it – it became his life. So that’s where it started.

Kine: And you’ve said you felt very early on that this wasn’t for you. How did that affect your relationship with your father?

Kine: I understand. It couldn’t have been easy, feeling at such a young age that this wasn’t for you, but that you had to do it because of someone else’s choice.

Paal: It had a big impact. I wasn’t exactly kind toward him. I have blamed him for everything that happened.

Paal: Yes, that’s exactly how it felt.

Kine: And I know you’ve worked a lot with this since then.

Paal: Yes, the last five or six years have been filled with inner work, reframing, gaining greater understanding. A lot has happened.

Kine: Can you tell us a bit about when your father passed away a few years ago? You still carried a lot of anger then.

Paal: Yes, I did. And what came was an unexpected shock reaction, which we later identified as grief. But at the time, because I was so angry with him, I couldn’t understand why I was reacting that way. That’s something I can see clearly now.

Kine: What would you say is your message to people who have been in religions, or sects, or religious communities – those who haven’t managed to leave, or who struggle with the way forward, today? Because, as we said, this isn’t meant as a warning, but more of a reflection on “where have we been, where are we, and where are we going.”

Paal: My best advice is to stop blaming others. Try to see things from their perspective. Let go of blame, let go of anger, let go of hate – and instead focus on healing yourself and moving forward. A wise person once said that hating is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. You’re the only one who suffers when you hold on to it.

Kine: I have to say, on this journey you’ve taken big steps. But for this podcast, we want to stay somewhat neutral, because so much has happened for you. And I think facing Jehovah’s Witnesses, that used to be a huge problem for you – it was never okay to meet them. There was nothing positive for you in it at all.

Paal: No, and now I feel a real change. I don’t get triggered anymore if I meet them in the street or at the mall. I still recognize many of them, but I don’t feel anything tighten inside, no anger, nothing. That’s a huge change.

Kine: Are you now able to see why some people choose religion as a kind of salvation or help on their path?

Paal: Yes, absolutely. I can really understand that. It doesn’t mean I agree with the religions or what they believe, but I understand that people need something bigger than themselves. Like with my father – to overcome trauma, you sometimes need something to reach for. That I can understand.

Kine: I think that’s true. For many people today, religion or spirituality becomes that path. There are so many ways to go. And I believe many who find themselves in trauma, illness, whatever it might be, are more likely to reach for something greater than themselves. You have a lot of experience with that. I know you’ve tried alternative ways of working on yourself – and recently you got certified as a life coach, and you’ve tried different healing approaches. Can you share a little about that?

Paal: Yes, coaching came almost by coincidence, or maybe synchronicity. It taught me so much about how we think, how we perceive, how we interpret things. I also tried EQ therapy with Thomas Myrseth, which had an immediate, powerful effect after just one session. And you and I have worked a lot together – deep conversations, spiritual work. Different things that, together, have helped a lot.

Kine: I can imagine. And I think you also had some time within psychiatry?

Paal: Yes, I’ve been in psychiatric care twice.

Kine: Did you feel you got any help there?

Paal: With psychologists, I didn’t feel I got much help. I became aware of certain things, but that was it. My experience is that psychiatry focuses on giving you a diagnosis, not so much on what to do with it. I also went to something called “Rask psykisk helsehjelp” (Quick Mental Health), which was better because it involved more conversations and more understanding of how we think – actually quite relatable to coaching.

Kine: Yes, i understand

So, is there something you’d like to say at the very end – maybe a recommendation? You’re sharing your story and your baggage here, and perhaps listeners would like some tips before we round off.

Paal: I think my best advice would be the things i mentioned earlier – try to see things from more than one perspective. Don’t place too much blame on others for what’s happened to you. Instead, look inward and see what you can do to move forward. If you only focus on who did what to you, you’re always looking backward, and then you won’t move forward. That’s my best advice.

Kine: That’s great advice

Paal: And I also want to say – we will be talking about more things going forward.

Kine: Yes, absolutely.

Paal: We’ll be talking about you as well in the next episode.

We’ll touch on, among other things, addiction – something we’ve both experienced. We’ll talk about mental health, and alternative healing methods, and maybe some spirituality as well.

i hope that You who are listening will stay with us, and that You find it interesting or it reaches something in you.

Kine: Yes, absolutely. And if you feel like sharing our podcast, we would greatly appreciate that.

Paal: We do.

Kine: This ends our time for today.

Paal: we welcome you back in the next episode.

Kine: and remember We are better.. together